


Synapse

by JennaLee



Category: Game Grumps, NormalBoots
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Emotional Infidelity, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Oral Sex, PWP, Polyamory, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 13:09:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12727185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaLee/pseuds/JennaLee
Summary: When Jared flies down from Seattle to visit, Ross struggles to work out the kinks of their long-distance relationship and how they fit into each other's lives.





	Synapse

**Author's Note:**

> For Lyn, as always. Love you.

The sound of a car pulling up to his house makes Ross spring to his feet, dashing to the window so fast he nearly wipes out on the wood floors.

He doesn’t recognize the car in his driveway, but he recognizes the man who gets out of it, with the sun gleaming off the highlights in his dark blond hair. Ross rushes down the stairs, going over all the lines he’d practiced in his head, wondering how to broach the difficult subject he never could manage to bring up on the phone. He’s fairly confident - he’s been telling himself for weeks that he’d find the words more easily when the two of them were face-to-face. Ross is tired, stressed, worn down from work, but he can put that aside and deal with the issues at hand.

But when he opens the door, he freezes. 

Ross could look at pictures or countless videos of Jared whenever he wanted, but nothing ever quite captures the minute expressions that flicker over his face when he looks at Ross; the way his eyes go soft, the double smile lines in his cheeks foreshadowing the imminent grin. It happens every time and yet Ross is still unprepared for it, the way his stomach does a full three-sixty, butterfly tingles racing from his head to his feet.

“Hi,” Jared says, as if he lived down the street and not a thousand miles away. “Surprised to see me?”

“Holly told me you were coming,” Ross steps back to let Jared inside. “Was it supposed to be a surprise?”

“I figured she would, but you looked startled,” Jared teases, closing the door behind him. “How’ve you been?”

Ross finds it hard to make small talk with the way his heart is pounding. “Busy,” he says. “As usual.” 

“Shit, I bet. Heidi and I watched that animatic you sent me. It was incredible.”

“Lots of revisions left to do.”

“You’ll get there.”

It’s awkward, stunted. They’re dancing around the elephant in the room. Ross wants to bury his face in Jared’s neck, wants to tell him how much he’s missed him, how lonely it’s been. He swallows the urge. 

“How’s Seattle?” he asks instead.

Jared shrugs off his jacket and hangs it up in the closet, watching Ross sprawl unglamorously on the couch. “Wet,” he says. “But fun. Heidi loves it. She needed a change.”

“Wet butt fun?” Ross quips, waiting for a glimpse of Jared’s crooked smile. He’s not disappointed. 

Jared tucks his shoes into the rainbow sea of Converse by the door and comes over to him, at ease in Ross’s house like always. 

“You never change,” Jared murmurs. Ross isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but when Jared sits down next to him to kiss him, he doesn’t care either way. He surges forward, pressing himself into Jared until Jared’s forced to fall back into the throw pillows, laughing into Ross’s mouth.

“Missed me, huh?” 

Jared’s giving Ross one of his gently spiky smiles like he’s anticipating another sarcastic retort, but Ross suddenly doesn’t feel like being joky. It’s just hit him that he has Jared here, in his house, all to himself, when he hadn’t seen him in three months. 

“Always,” he says, with a little catch in his voice. 

Jared kisses him again, a little more firmly this time. Ross draws in a sharp breath, slides a hand around Jared’s small waist to slip beneath his T-shirt. His skin is hot and soft to the touch. Jared responds by deepening the kiss and sucking Ross’s lower lip into his mouth. By the time they break apart, Ross has already forgotten all about being tired.

“Fuck,” he says, staring at Jared’s reddened mouth. “Fuck, Jared, I’ve wanted to do that for weeks.”

Jared shifts his legs, maybe adjusting himself. His pupils are blown wide, his eyes greedily drinking in Ross’s face. “Yeah?” he asks. “You think about me that much?”

Ross usually liked to play coy with Jared. But there was something between them, some tension that made it feel like the room was holding its breath. He avoids a teasing reply and says instead, “Of course I do.”

“And what are you usually doing to yourself when you think of me?” Jared’s still playful. He pushes his fingers through Ross’s hair, letting the silky strands slide through his fingers. When he meets Ross’s eyes, his brow creases. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Not exactly.” Ross knows that his emotions are always written right across his face.

Jared drops his hands back to his own lap and waits. 

“It’s nothing. Really. Just…” Ross chews on his lower lip and fidgets with a loose thread on his own shirt. “Why did you have to move so far away?” 

Jared doesn’t take it too seriously, at least at first. “Seattle is closer than Dallas,” he points out, then pauses. “At least, by a couple hundred miles, I think.”

“I thought maybe you’d move here, for good,” Ross blurts, and he hadn’t meant for it to sound so accusing but it’s out there now, for better or worse.

Jared’s smile fades and Ross kicks himself. There’s no reason to ruin a fun night with one of his best friends from out of state. There’s even less reason to expect his very happily married friend to base his life decisions around Ross’s happiness instead of his wife’s.

“We talked about it,” Jared says quietly. “Heidi and I.”

Ross bites his lip and pulls back from Jared’s embrace. He draws his knees to his chest. “It doesn’t matter.”

Jared sits up too. “If it’s bothering you, we should talk about it.” 

“It’s not bothering me.” Ross lies, embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have said anything, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” Jared rubs the back of his neck and looks Ross in the eye. “LA was one of our top three choices, for a number of reasons.”

“Was I one of them?” Ross immediately hates the words that came out of his mouth. He doesn’t want to be annoying or needy.

“Yes,” Jared says, raising an eyebrow. “Of course you were.”

Ross feels a slow rush of warmth to his face. He shuffles closer to Jared to close the gap he’d made between them, and leans in to kiss the sharp bridge of Jared’s nose. Some of the tension in his belly eases at the contact and Ross can speak more freely. “So what made you decide not to come?”

“I guess I didn’t know how it would work,” Jared admits. He can be serious when he wants to be, and his playfulness is gone now. “Being so close to you, all the time.”

Ross doesn’t know if he’s been stung. He frowns. “Were you afraid you’d get bored of me, or what?”

Jared makes a sudden convulsive movement and a bitter laugh springs from his mouth. It doesn’t sound like Jared at all. “You really have no idea how I feel about you, do you?”

“I know you care about me. I wasn’t fishing. You care enough to call me when you have to come to LA, and you always make time for me.”

“You make it sound like you were an afterthought,” Jared says slowly. 

Ross shrugs. “You’re busy. You’re married. So am I, on both counts. So I know what it’s like. And I know that stopping by to see me isn’t an afterthought. You know tons of people in LA that you could drop in to see instead.”

Jared stares at him. “You think I decided to stop in for a quick fuck on a business trip?”

Ross isn’t sure how to answer, so he plasters on a signature Ross smile and goes for another quip. “Well, I’m going to be disappointed if there’s anything quick about it.”

Jared’s face remains carefully neutral. “Ross, tell me, why do you think I flew down here?”

“You’re going to a con?”

“By myself? Heidi would kill me.”

“Something with your Youtube channel? A collab?”

“Not even close.”

“You forgot what the sun looked like after two months in Seattle?”

“Ross.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Ross scrunches up his face. “Why did you come?”

“I came to see you. That’s it.”

“Oh.” Ross blinks once, and it hits him fully. He looks at Jared, startled. “Really?”

“Like I said,” Jared smiles wryly. “You have no idea how much I love you.”

“How long can you stay?” Ross thinks about his schedule, frantically trying to recall whether or not he had anything important to do the next day.

“I brought enough stuff for the whole weekend, but I don’t care if you have to work, or go into the office. I can amuse myself, get out of your hair if you want.”

“You flew all the way down here thinking you might only get to spend one night with me.”

“Worth it.” Jared takes Ross’s hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing his palm. 

It’s a strange but intimate gesture, oddly romantic. Ross can feel the kiss tingling in his hand long after Jared pulls away. 

“I’m confused,” Ross says after a beat. “You want to be with me so much, but you didn’t want to live here? You could see me whenever you wanted.”

Jared doesn’t answer at first. Ross notices his hand curling into an anxious fist. “Fuck,” he says. “This is going to sound horrible.”

Ross doesn’t bother with limp platitudes and reassurances. They know each other too well. That Jared feels the need to forewarn him at all isn’t normal for them. Ross takes Jared’s clenched fist in his hand and traces Jared’s bony knuckles with the pad of his thumb while he waits.

“I love my wife,” Jared finally says. “I made a promise to her. Nowhere in our vows did we claim to expect monogamy, because neither of us believe in it. But I did promise that she comes first, always.”

“I know,” Ross says, and he _does_. He’s married and poly too, he knows the drill.

“But sometimes,” Jared says slowly, “when I’m with you, I wish I hadn’t made those vows.”

The words hang between them, heavy and awful, like a thunderhead. Ross doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t feel that way and never will, not with Holly, no matter how much he loves Jared. He doesn’t feel sorry, exactly - or does he? _Should_ he?

“Fuck, it’s not your fault.” Jared says, like he’s read Ross’s mind. “You’re not responsible for the way you make me feel.” He cups Ross’s face in his soft hand. “I just thought you should know why I can’t come more often. Why I stay away most of the time. If I stay too long, I forget myself. It’s…it’s just not good for me, Ross. It’s not good for my marriage.”

Ross feels suddenly cruel as Jared’s words send a thrill through him. He doesn’t want to be a home wrecker but he almost wishes Heidi was less understanding. Ross lets himself indulge in a brief fantasy of Jared showing up at his door with a suitcase, all his things in bags and boxes, asking Ross to let him stay for good. Ross could balance two life partners as easily as he balanced his hectic life; he had a lot of passion to give and didn’t see himself getting taxed out.

But those were stupid thoughts. He doesn’t wish pain on Jared, and it’s sick to entertain the thought of Heidi leaving him.

“What does Heidi think?” Was she the one who put her foot down about LA? Or was Jared the first to say it, to keep the peace, or to prevent any further argument?

“Heidi’s complicated,” Jared answers dryly. “People usually are.”

Ross appreciates Jared saying _people_ instead of _women_. “But she’s not mad about you spending time with me?”

“She’s glad that we have fun together. She likes you, and she likes Holly. And she doesn’t blame you. She’s better than that.”

And she really was, Ross knows. He likes Heidi too, and more importantly, she’s good for Jared. She was the kind of person that inspired goodness in those around her by way of example, just like Holly. 

“I’m glad you told me,” Ross says, and means it. If he has to choose between seeing Jared a few times a year, never seeing him at all, or being the cause of a best friend’s divorce, the right choice is obvious.

Jared gives him another one of those cute crooked smiles. “Me too,” he says, “although I’m sort of spoiling this visit, aren’t I?”

“I asked a question and you answered it,” said Ross, comfortable now that the tension’s gone. Jared’s no longer clutching his hand like a lifeline. “And I feel better now.”

“Yeah?” Jared looks at him with a quirked eyebrow and Ross snuggles back up to be shoulder-to-shoulder with him. Their feet knock together comfortably as they settle into place.

“Yeah. You’re here and we have the house to ourselves. I can stay home tomorrow, get a little work done here, but then still have time to go out for dinner with you.” Ross makes a face. “I would have had something planned, but - I was sure you had other plans, I didn’t want to take up all your time.” He knows Jared had flown a long way, so he feels bad about leaving him on his own while he put in three or four hours of animation. “I’ll try to work fast. I can bring my stuff in here, and sit with you as I work - would that bother you?”

Jared’s face changes, becoming more animated. His usual sparkle comes back into his eyes. “As if I’d ever complain about spending too much time with you.”

Jared’s easy romance always leaves Ross feeling a little like a blushing schoolgirl, no matter how often they see each other. He burrows his face in Jared’s neck, right where it meets his shoulder. He smells faintly of something spicy, like he’d daubed on a hint of cologne before getting on his flight, combined with the lingering airplane smell of stale air, bad coffee and worn plastic upholstery. Ross hums, nosing his way under the collar of Jared’s shirt to find a more familiar scent.

Jared tilts his head to give Ross more room. Ross kisses his way up Jared’s throat, feels the vibration when he speaks. “We have the place to ourselves, huh?”

“Holly’s spending the night at Arin and Suzy’s.”

“So there’s nothing stopping us from taking our clothes off right now?”

Ross rears back and gives him a look. “Holly being here wouldn’t stop us anyway.”

“She didn’t seem too impressed when she walked in on us in the shower last time.”

“Only because she was mad that I used her shampoo again, and that we were wasting water.”

“I wouldn’t call seeing you all wet and slippery a waste, myself.”

“Wet butt fun,” Ross says again, and the tension truly breaks when Jared laughs hard.

“That’s one way to put it.”

Ross pushes at Jared’s chest to get him to lean back and settles comfortably over him. “So, back to that part about us taking off our clothes…”

Jared’s bold hands stroke down either side of Ross’s spine and cup the swell of his ass, pulling Ross more firmly on top of him. “Somebody’s eager,” he chuckles when Ross arches his back and pushes his ass into Jared’s hands. 

“I haven’t gotten fucked in like a year,” Ross explains.

“Drama queen.” Jared gives his ass a squeeze. “I definitely fucked you in our hotel room the last time I saw you.”

Ross thrills at the memory but wants to tease. “Did you? I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember complaining about how you could barely sit down on the flight back?”

“Slipped my mind.”

“Huh,” Jared squeezes him again. “I remember it very well.”

“Yeah?”

“I remember I was deaf for about two days from all your screaming.”

Ross makes a face. “I don’t _scream._ ”

“Pretty damn close.”

He’s not far off. Ross knows he’s fucking loud, especially when he’s getting it from behind, when he’s bent over and held down and all words are driven from his brain until all he can do is let the sounds of his pleasure fall from his mouth.

“Your fault,” Ross says. “You should have gagged me.”

Jared’s eyes flash and Ross knows he’s thinking of the visual, Ross’s eyes wide and appealing, his lips stretched around a gag. “I’ll bring one next time. Give the TSA agents something to chuckle at when they go through my shit.”

“They’ve probably seen it all.” Ross grins. “Just imagine the crazy shit they find with the X-rays.”

“True.” Jared’s hands wander around to the front of Ross’s jeans, cupping the small bulge before slipping up under Ross’s T-shirt. “Or maybe I’ll just use your underwear, stuff that in your mouth instead.”

Ross breathes in shakily. Jared’s so fucking good at getting him worked up. “Yeah,” he says, “maybe, yeah, I’d be into that.”

“Is there anything you’re not into?”

“Sneeze porn. Cake farts.”

Jared is startled into a wheezy burst of laughter. “Holy shit, Ross, you do know how to kill the mood, don’t you?”

“Wait, I changed my mind. Sneezes are cute.”

“You sound like a goose being sucked into a jet engine when you sneeze.”

Ross grins again. “Remember that time when I - ” and he doesn’t even have to finish his sentence for Jared to know what he means, and they both break into laughter. Ross was referring to the time he’d been on his knees, his mouth full of Jared’s dick, feeling like a sex god as Jared moaned his name over and over until he managed to sneeze just as Jared came.

Beneath the humour, Jared’s eyes are full of fire, and the laughter dies at once when he reaches for Ross’s face to pull him in for a kiss. 

“Maybe we should go up to your bedroom,” Jared says as his lips move from Ross’s mouth to press a feathery kiss on his cheekbone.

Ross huffs and makes exaggerated noises as Jared wriggles out from beneath him, leaving Ross cold where they’d been touching. But then Jared’s tugging at his wrists, making him stand up too. Jared is a little rough as he pulls Ross against him and kisses him with teeth, and Ross goes slack and willing in his grip. Jared tugs at his hair and Ross actually moans.

“Fuck, alright, yeah. Upstairs.”

They make it to the bedroom without falling over themselves, which Ross considers a feat. His bed is unmade and a little sloppy looking, but Ross doesn’t give a shit. Neither does Jared, who is already pulling his shirt over his head, his eyes on Ross as he undoes his belt and zipper.

Ross forgets about his own clothes and reaches to help. He bats Jared’s hands away and undoes Jared’s pants himself. Beneath, Jared is wearing plain boxers, nothing especially exciting, but Ross can see the bulge of his package and his own cock twitches in response.

Jared steps out of his jeans, hand slipping down to adjust himself. The waistband of his boxers dips, revealing quite a bit of very bare skin, and Ross stares openmouthed. 

Jared’s not particularly hairy, but he wasn’t kidding when he’d said he’d shaved all of himself again, like he had for his Sailor Mercury cosplay. Ross is sure Jared had told him that Heidi had made some new cosplay for him that required it, but he can’t remember. He can barely remember his own fucking name with Jared’s pale smooth thighs right there, begging to be stroked and kissed.

“Holy shit, Jared.”

Jared grins sheepishly. “Yeah, um. I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I do, but. Yeah. Looks good, huh?”

“I was kind of hoping you’d be wearing that white thong from your Sailor Mercury costume.”

Jared lifts an eyebrow. “You liked that?”

“Me and everyone else. Pretty sure you gave half of your followers jerk-off fodder for the week.”

“I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, what can I say?”

Ross snorts. “I know you are. Please tell me you took more pictures.”

“Tons. Heidi took some too. I’ll send them to you.”

“You’d fucking better.” Ross reaches for Jared’s boxers, wanting to see more, but Jared laughs and catches his arm. 

“Not fair. Take your clothes off first.”

“Okay,” Ross says, ripping off his t-shirt and throwing it in the general direction of the closet. His pants come off with astonishing speed. He’s wearing white briefs, Jared’s favourite on him, and he grins and runs his hands over himself when Jared’s breath catches.

Jared grabs him by the hips and pulls him close. Ross likes that they’re the same height; their dicks line up just right. He feels Jared, fully hard now, pressed up against his own burgeoning erection, and they roll their hips at the same time. The friction makes them gasp.

“Want you,” Ross says shakily. “Want you so much, Jared.”

“Yeah,” Jared breathes, “yeah, me too. So fucking gorgeous, Ross.” He slips a hand down to cup the outline of Ross’s cock. He’s peeking out of his briefs, and the pad of Jared’s index finger finds it. “You’re wet for me already.”

“You act like you’re surprised,” Ross stutters out as his hips twitch. “I told you, I want you.” He grabs Jared’s cock through his boxers to prove his point and is satisfied when Jared lets out a deep moan.

Ross gives Jared a squeeze, then grabs the waistband of his underwear and pulls. Jared’s cock springs out, a rosy curve against his pale stomach, and fuck, he looks even bigger with everything shaved. 

Ross’s body acts on instinct. He drops to his knees and takes Jared into his mouth, just like that. 

“Holy shit.” Jared staggers a little, his underwear still caught around his thighs. He laughs and fists a hand in Ross’s hair. “That feels fucking good, Ross, don’t stop.”

Ross has no intention of stopping. His mouth had started to water the second he’d gotten Jared’s boxers down. He moans around Jared’s dick, loving the warm weight and velvety texture in his mouth. Ross reaches up and holds onto Jared’s bared ass to keep him steady. 

Jared holds the base of his own cock for Ross, lightly squeezing to make him swell even further in Ross’s mouth. Ross strains his eyes upward as best as he can, and it’s like fucking electricity when their gazes meet. Jared curses and bites his lip, hips thrusting gently. He bumps up against the back of Ross’s throat and Ross doesn’t gag, but feels a wetness at the corner of his eyes. Jared breaks first, dropping his chin and closing his eyes, like watching Ross is too much for him to handle.

Ross sucks harder, cheeks hollowing. His hands can’t stop wandering. Jared swears loudly when Ross’s fingers dip between his cheeks.

“You’re not getting fucked for a while if you keep this up,” gasps Jared. “Ross, I’m - you’d better - ”

Ross pulls back. Jared’s slick cock bobs in the air. Ross presses a kiss to the head before bouncing back to his feet. 

Jared kicks his way out of his underwear and goes for Ross’s. His hands are trembling and Ross loves to see him like this, so fucking worked up and desperate for Ross. When his briefs come off Jared stares at him for one long second, as if he can’t believe Ross is real, then grabs Ross’s shoulders and pushes him backward.

When he feels the mattress against his thighs, Ross sits back, feet on the floor and his legs spread. Jared growls, “Fuck yeah,” and falls on his knees between Ross’s legs.

“Jesus,” Ross half-laughs, reaching to caress the back of Jared’s neck. 

The first touch of Jared’s mouth has Ross gasping for air. Jared’s all passion and no technique when it comes to giving head and Ross loves it. He sucks wetly at the head, one hand curling around the base and stroking hard and fast. His other hand slides beneath, feeling Ross’s small balls, seeking the sensitive spot just behind them. 

Ross moans Jared’s name as he bucks up into that soft wet heat. Jared moans right back at him. He’s already drooling down his chin, so fucking wet and messy. His light eyelashes cast a long shadow on his cheeks. Jared’s fucking beautiful and Ross can barely handle it.

Jared surges forward, as far as he can. Ross stares down, entranced by the sight of his cock sliding between Jared’s lips. Jared has such a small mouth and it makes Ross’s stomach flip to see him struggle to take in as much as he can. He doesn’t push Jared down - Jared gags easily, Ross knows - but he lets his hand rest lightly on the top of Jared’s head. A rogue curl slips from the carefully gelled part and Ross smoothes it back into place with his fingers.

“You’re so good,” Ross breathes as Jared starts to bob his head. “So good, yeah, just like that. Fuck, yes, Jared, I love you.”

Jared makes a muffled groan. He shifts, reaching down to touch himself, and that just wrecks Ross completely - Jared pleasuring himself to the feeling of Ross’s cock in his mouth.

“Slow,” he warns, feeling his groin grow tight. “Go slow, Jared.”

Jared pulls off with an obscene wet noise. His lips are reddened and wet, fucking sinful. “Getting close?”

Ross’s legs shake as Jared nuzzles him. “Y-yeah.”

“Mmm. Okay, move back.”

Ross grumbles but obeys, scooting back to lay fully on the bed. Jared follows right behind him. He shoves at Ross’s hip until Ross gets the hint and rolls onto his stomach. Jared makes a soft noise at the sight and puts his palms flat on Ross’s ass. He spreads Ross open with his thumbs. Ross’s face burns and he buries it into the pillow.

“So shy,” Jared murmurs, his breath puffing warm air over Ross’s exposed hole. “I’ve seen you like this a hundred times and you still act like you’re not the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

A soft kiss to the base of his spine makes Ross shiver, makes him realize what he wants Jared to do to him. He squirms and says, “Please, Jared, please.”

Jared’s small pointed tongue is ticklish at the top of Ross’s cleft. He grips Ross more tightly, holding his hips in place as Ross laughs and squirms harder. 

“You want me to eat out your ass?” he asks huskily, and Ross’s laughter instantly dies off.

“Please, fuck,” Ross moans. He stretches his arms over his head and grabs hold of the headboard. 

“Please fuck you? In a little while, Ross, don’t worry.” 

God, Ross can fucking feel how close Jared’s mouth is and it’s driving him insane. “You bastard, you know what I mean. Please eat me out, please, _Jared_.”

“As you wish.” 

Jared is a bit of a sadist when it comes to making Ross beg, but he always delivers on his promises. He adjusts his hands to spread Ross wider and dives in, mouth open and wet and hungry. Ross’s shout is muffled in the pillow as Jared’s tongue eagerly works its way inside.

Ross ruts against the bed, his cock trapped between his body and the mattress. Jared is making little noises, just muffled _mmmhs_ , like Ross’s ass is the best thing he’s ever tasted in his life. His tongue flickers across Ross’s hole and Ross’s toes curl. Every so often Jared has to pull back to breathe, but he dives in again with renewed vigor.

The room echoes with Jared’s wet noises interspersed with Ross’s increasingly high-pitched cries.

“I could do this all night,” Jared murmurs. “You taste like fucking heaven.”

Seconds later Ross feels Jared’s finger against his entrance, pushing so gently inside. There’s no lube, only spit, and Jared takes it slow. It’s more of a tease than anything - just Jared giving him a little promise of what’s to come, showing him how slick and open he already was, just from Jared’s tongue.

It’s good, but Ross wants more. Ross wants to turn over, wants to be able to see Jared’s face. “Hey,” he says, “hey, wait, Jared, can I - ”

At the word _wait_ Jared freezes and takes his finger out. “Is it too much?”

Ross rolls over, blinking in the soft light. Jared’s eyes are full of concern. He smiles. “I’m okay. I just wanted to see you.”

Jared visibly relaxes and smiles as Ross bends his knees and opens his legs, giving Jared easy access. Jared reaches for the lube and drizzles it onto two fingers. Ross is achingly hard and he can’t help but stroke himself as Jared rubs his entrance.

“Good boy,” Jared praises, making Ross’s cheeks go hot yet again. He presses two fingers in slowly to open Ross up.

Ross takes a deep breath as his body adjusts. Jared’s fingers aren’t too thick, but it’s still a lot. The initial burn quickly fades and Ross can focus on the pleasant sensation of being filled, the sweet friction of Jared’s knuckles catching on the rim of his hole.

“You’re always so tight.” Jared turns his hand, rotating his fingers and scissoring them to get Ross used to being good and stretched. His free hand rests on Ross’s chest, occasionally pinching a nipple or stroking a line down from his sternum to his dick. Jared’s a fucking tease, and he _could_ stroke Ross’s dick, but instead he skates the flat of his palm along the length and giggles when it jumps at the touch.

“I’m ready,” Ross says plaintively, but Jared only hums and pumps his hand harder. The pads of his fingers pat-pat around inside him, searching, waiting, watching Ross’s face.

“Fuck!” Ross’s spine curves when Jared finds his prostate. Jared looks immensely pleased with himself as Ross goes to pieces, spreading his legs wider and fucking himself back onto Jared’s hand.

Jared holds him still and massages that little spot until Ross feels two beads of sweat form at his temples like a fucking anime. It’s almost too much to handle, pure waves of sensation rocking his whole body, giving him that crazy feeling of being stuck halfway between pissing himself and fucking time-warping into space.

“Fuck me, please fuck me, Jared,” Ross cries out, shuddering. “I need you. Fuck I need you in me so bad.”

“I guess, since you asked so politely.” Jared takes his fingers out. Ross feels his body clinging to them, his eager hole fluttering around nothing when they’re gone. Jared gives him a smoky, knowing look and doesn’t waste any time. He fishes his jeans up from the floor and digs in the pocket until he produces a condom. Ross watches him take it in both hands, about to rip the packaging open.

“Don’t,” Ross says suddenly.

Jared pauses. Slowly, he lifts his eyes to Ross’s face. “You sure?”

Ross nods, a little desperate. They’d never done it without a condom before, never suggested otherwise, but he trusts Jared. He wants to feel everything, wants to make the most of the short time they have to spend with each other.

“Okay.” Jared is surprised but obviously excited. He shoves the condom back into his bag. He settles himself beside Ross, reaching for the lube to slick his fingers up again.

“Jared, fuck.” Ross’s back arches as Jared gives him three fingers at once, working them in deep without preamble. Jared knows he can handle it. He’s smirking as Ross goes to pieces, ass stretched so wide by Jared’s talented fingers. A tingling warmth spreads through Ross as he realizes how ready he is, how needy.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Jared tells him, his eyes fixed on Ross’s face as his fingers pump in and out. 

It’s not enough, it’s never enough. Ross whines and rocks his hips. “More, fuck, please.”

“You sure?”

Ross had never felt more than three fingers, but figures it can’t be too much more intense. He nods, but Jared says “I need a verbal yes, Ross,” and Ross closes his eyes and says, “Yes, I’m sure.”

Jared lines up a fourth finger, gentle at first as he slips it past Ross’s tight entrance. It’s already more than Ross anticipates, and Jared gives him time to breathe deep before gently sliding further in. He takes his time, going so slow it barely feels like he‘s moving at all, but all of a sudden Ross feels the blunt pressure of Jared’s knuckles, where his hand becomes a whole lot fucking wider, impossible to fit inside.

Four fingers is a fucking lot. Four fingers feels bigger than the biggest dildo he’d ever used, bigger than any dick had a right to be. 

“Half my fucking hand, holy shit, Ross,” Jared exhales, sounding wrecked. Ross can only imagine what he looks like to Jared. Ross is sweating, gasping, his dick dripping freely onto his stomach, not at all deterred by the intensity of it all. When he feels Jared’s knuckles rub over his prostate, Ross throws his head back and keens like an animal. God, he’s going to fucking come, but he can’t, he wants Jared’s cock in him too and he’ll be too sensitive if he comes from this.

“Jared,” Ross manages, and from his tone alone Jared knows to start withdrawing. He murmurs reassurances and pets at Ross’s thigh as he pulls his hand free, leaving Ross feeling empty and open.

“You okay, baby?” Jared lays down next to him and kisses Ross’s cheek. 

Ross opens his eyes - when had he closed them? - and sees the look of awe on Jared’s face. He swallows. “Wow. Yeah, fuck, wow, I almost came just from that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But I didn’t, because I want you to fuck me.”

Jared kisses Ross’s mouth, his chin, his sternum, a nipple. Then he grins and grabs the lube, generously coating his straining dick.

“How do you want me?” Ross props himself up on his elbows. “You want me to flip over again?”

“Huh-uh.” Jared pushes him back down wordlessly. He reaches for a pillow, pats Ross’s hips and says, “Up.”

Ross obeys without question and lets Jared shove the pillow under his butt. He loves missionary with Jared, with his dick curving upward in just the right way to nail his sweet spot perfectly. From the wide-eyed look Jared gives him, he likes it too. Ross spreads his thighs to give him a good view of his slicked-up hole. 

Jared groans at the sight and moves forward to clamber on top of Ross, hands on either side of Ross’s head, his hips between Ross’s legs. Ross tries to hook his feet around Jared’s ass to pull him forward and _in_ , but Jared goes in for a messy kiss instead.

Ross kisses back, gasping when he feels the sticky-wet tip of Jared’s cock brush against his thigh. It’s so different from how it feels when Jared’s wearing a condom, so much warmer, slicker. He whimpers.

“That feels so - ” Ross struggles for a word that fits this burning closeness, the wild anticipation pumping through him. He doesn’t find one, but Jared knows what he means.

“Yeah,” Jared says thickly, his gaze burning holes in Ross’s eyes. He drops to his elbows and buries his face in Ross’s neck, kissing him wetly, sucking a red mark onto the sensitive skin. The tiny flare of pain drives Ross wild and he can’t fucking wait anymore.

He reaches down and grabs Jared’s dick, drawing his legs up and planting his feet firmly on the bed. He arches his hips up, and they both moan as Jared’s dick slips between Ross’s cheeks and over his hole. The angle is a little awkward, but he likes it, the way he can see the pink blush spreading over Jared’s chest, the way his abs tighten in anticipation as Ross rocks his hips teasingly. Ross wiggles his other hand down so he can touch his own cock. 

“Fuck,” he exhales, stroking himself slowly as he keeps moving Jared’s cock back and forth against his hole, pressing it inside just enough to feel the pressure of being stretched.

“You gonna let me put it in?” Jared asks tightly, breathless. “Or are you just gonna keep being a little tease?”

Ross fists Jared’s shaft, angles the head to slip just barely inside the tight ring of muscles. Jared moans and tries to thrust forward, but Ross doesn’t let go of his dick. He pulls it out again and smirks.

“This is fun,” Ross says brightly. “I could probably get off like this.”

Jared groans. “Fuck, Ross, you want to hear me beg, or what?”

Ross considers. He has the power right now, and while he doesn’t hate it - the idea of having Jared at his mercy, fuck, just using him like a dildo and driving him insane - it’s not what he’s been craving. So instead of answering he looks up at Jared with his most devious face, cheeks appled and a mischievous smile making little dimples in his skin. 

“Ross,” Jared gasps as Ross shifts his hips and pulls Jared in just a little further. They both moan as the head slips fully inside.

Ross tightens up, heedless of the slight pain, making himself like an iron vice around Jared’s sensitive cockhead. “Ohhh, fuck,” he bites out, wriggling his hips. “Mmm, that’s so good.”

“Fuck, just let me - ”

“Mm-mm, nope,” Ross still holds back, watching Jared tremble with frustration. “Maybe this is enough for me.”

“Liar.” Jared’s flat stomach heaves. “I can feel your body trying to pull me in, you’re so fucking eager.”

“Language,” Ross scolds, clenching around Jared’s cock again. He closes his legs slightly, the movement pushing Jared away, suggesting the possibility that he could make this all stop at any time.

Jared makes a sound halfway between a whine and a growl. When Ross just stares up at him innocently, he finally takes matters into his own hands. He leans back, reaches down to grab Ross’s wrists. Ross lets go of Jared’s cock and lets his hands be pinned over his head.

“Oh no,” Ross deadpans. “Now I’m all helpless. What are you gonna do to me?”

“That line would work better if I wasn’t already _inside_ you.” But Jared tightens his grip, gives Ross a smoking look, and thrusts his hips forward to bury himself deep.

Ross arches off the bed with a muffled cry. It’s better than it’s ever been, being able to feel everything, the texture and heat of Jared’s cock instead of the smoothness of a condom. Jared holds himself there, fully sheathed, then withdraws most of the way and eases Ross in with shallow thrusts.

Ross has to remind himself to breathe. His eyes rake over Jared’s slim body, bracketed between Ross’s pale legs, stomach muscles going taut as his hips rock. Ross moves with him as best as he can. Jared always starts slow, and Ross is always greedy for more. It doesn’t take long before Jared’s slow pace drives Ross insane. 

“Deeper,” he pleads, his voice rough.

“Yeah?” Jared leans back. Ross lifts his ass off the bed, instinctively following, wanting to keep him deep inside. Jared groans and says, “Give your legs, here,” and Ross does, shifting and helping Jared get his legs hooked over his shoulders. The position bends him in half, and when Jared leans forward again, his cock pushes even deeper than before. 

Ross makes a sharp cry and clutches at Jared’s shoulders. His nails rake red lines across Jared’s back. “Oh, oh, holy fuck, Jared, _yes._ ”

Jared hisses a little at the pain, but he’s grinning like a shark. “Fuck yeah, you like that, don’t you?”

“God, yes, yes, oh, Jared, don’t fucking stop.”

“I could tease you like you did to me,” Jared threatens. “How would you like that, hmm?”

He makes as if to pull out, and Ross gives a shaky little cry. “Please,” he begs, even though he knows Jared is just toying with him. “Please don’t take it out, fuck, Jared, please.” 

Jared shudders, his dick twitching deep inside. He pulls almost all the way out, holding himself there for a few agonizing seconds, then plunges back in. The shocking pleasure makes Ross give a short scream.

Jared laughs breathlessly. “Fuckin’ told you, you’re a screamer.”

“Shut up and fuck me harder,” Ross demands when he can talk again. He squeezes himself around Jared. “Give it to me, come on.”

“You always turn into such a slut when I fuck you.” Jared drops his head low to kiss Ross. The position drives his cock even deeper and Ross chokes on a whimper. His legs are bent so far that his feet are over his head.

Ross clutches handfuls of the sheets, panting for air between his cries and shouts. They’re sweating, Ross’s legs slipping on Jared’s shoulders, wetness beading at Jared’s temples as he continues his brutal pace. It’s all Ross can do to hold on. Nobody has ever fucked him this good, made him feel the way Jared does.

Jared’s struggling too, his rhythm faltering as he tries to keep from slipping out or dropping Ross’s legs. Ross makes a weak grab for his own feet. Jared sees his plan and helps him, and when Ross is holding his own legs up Jared can re-adjust his stance, brace himself, and fuck Ross as he can.

From there things become a blur. Ross’s mind is hazy, lost in a fog of pleasure. Ross focuses on holding his feet, keeping his ass still for Jared to fuck. He can’t touch himself like this but he’s getting close anyway. He whimpers, his body on fire, every single fibre of his being absorbed in the incredible feeling of Jared’s cock inside him, fucking him so good. Jared’s giving it to him so good, steady and hard, unrelenting. 

“Jared, I - oh, fuck, _Jared_ \- !”

Jared slams in to the hilt and grinds his hips in a circle, pressing so hard against Ross’s prostate. Ross opens his mouth and can’t even find the voice to scream. He loses his grip on his feet but Jared bends further over him, not letting Ross go anywhere. Ross feels wonderfully helpless. He doesn’t realize that he’s about to come without touching himself until it happens, hitting him like a brick wall. Ross whimpers and looks down at himself, watches his cock flex and spurt come all over his own chest. 

“Holy shit, Ross.” Jared pumps harder, erratic now, and before Ross has come down from his high, he feels Jared’s cock swell and stiffen in his ass. One, two more thrusts, and Jared is moaning too, at least as loud as Ross. For the first time ever he’s coming deep inside Ross’s ass instead of into a condom, and Ross loves the blossom of wet heat that fills him. Ross’s cock answers with one more weak dribble of come. 

Jared swipes it up with a thumb and sucks it into his mouth.

“I love you,” Jared whispers into Ross’s ear. With his softening cock still sheathed inside Ross’s ass, he presses little ghosting kisses all over Ross’s face, along his jaw and over his cheeks, the tip of his nose, over the salt-damp lashes. Ross, still floating, parrots the words back at Jared with a dazed expression on his face.

Jared slips out wetly and gently lowers Ross’s legs. Ross’s muscles ache in protest, but he doesn’t mind the pain. It grounds him, keeps him from floating away.

Jared takes care of him. He gets a wet cloth from the bathroom and mops him up, tucks him in, goes to turn on the TV. They snuggle up together in a pleasant silence, naked beneath the blankets. It’s too early to sleep but they’re too worn out to move. 

And the thing is, Ross knows it doesn’t have to end. 

He could be selfish. He could beg Jared to stay a day longer, a week longer. And Jared would. Jared would do anything for him, and it makes Ross feel like he’s drowning.

If he asked Jared to leave his wife, there’s a chance he’d do that too.

Ross never would - Jared would never be the same, Holly would never forgive him, their friend circle would never forget - but the power is there, in his hands, and he doesn’t know if he fully trusts himself with it. Things have a habit of slipping from his mouth before he even thinks.

 _Sometimes, when I’m with you, I forget myself,_ Jared had said.

Ross realizes belatedly that he’d forgotten to text Holly as promised and a faint chill goes through him. 

Pressed so close to Jared, in his bed, their naked skin still damp with sweat and the air redolent with the smell of sex, Ross feels like he could lay here forever. He could forget himself, too. It scares him to think of what he would give up to be with him.

Maybe it’s good that Jared is flying home again soon. What’s a thousand miles, when the distance is the glue holding their lives together?

Jared’s eyes, big and blue and sweet, smile at Ross a little sadly. Ross feels a keen jolt of connection - Jared knows exactly what he’s thinking.

“We can make this work,” Jared promises him. “I’ll fly down when I can, maybe you can come up and see me sometimes too.” He doesn’t sound certain. He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself.

Ross nods, not trusting himself to speak. He knows the right thing to do, but he’s still fucking drowning, and he’s not sure if Jared will save him or pull him down too.

“I love you,” Jared says, a little desperate. “I need you both so bad, and I can’t - ”

Ross’s chest goes tight and he closes his eyes. He reaches for his lifeline.

“I have to call Holly.”

Jared blinks once and says, “Okay, yeah, sure. Tell her I say hi.”

Ross gets out of bed and slips his underwear back on, wondering how many people he’d have to hurt to keep this up. There’s no easy answer. Polyamory doesn’t come with a fucking instruction manual.

He can only try his hardest, and hope for the best.


End file.
